Is it just me

• Or does everybody not look at the advertisement on the bus when they board it?

• Or does everyone else understand the hell newscasters were sayin when they were, okay maybe not so young.. 10++, give or take?

• Or does everyone else think covering a dozed off person on the sofa with a jacket is a stupid thing to do? I mean, how do you know whether the person is even cold? It's singapore, god's sake. Totally overrated. ESPECIALLY on Chinese Drama television. (the show in question? "Love Concierge". stupid title.)

- The Concerned Mother

A Very Special Day Indeed

Like, how could I have missed it?? It's the frickin' 23rd!! Of Jan. My special number. (I've always wanted to write down the occurrences of 23s in my life but never have been able to pick up a pen. Maybe I'd write 'em all here?)

Late at night last night, I checked the chair to see if my fav. pinafore was there (it's where my mom puts them on aft she'd ironed). I couldn't find it. :( So it was with a heavy heart that I retired to bed. THEN, in the morning, when I checked again, there it was! Okay anyway, that wasn't one of the supposedly weird things that happened today. I'm just streching it out.

So erm, I put on my uniform and went to school (by then it was already about 7.10) in the same bus as my sister. We were so scared we were going to be late. (Well actually it was all me-my sis said it was cool to be late in her sch.)So when we saw the students at the bus stop all walking oh-so-casually to the respective schools, I was so shocked! Ick said that sometimes, these people like, just- disappear. Poof, vanish, nada. Not there. Totally surreal.

Anyway. Right before I come swishing into school, I heard Miss GuyName over the intercom saying that assembly was in the hall. And as I headed over there, I saw the t-shirt flaunted(?) sec 3s in the yard- THEY WERE GOIN TO OBS (outward bound school) TODAY!! Okay whatever. But I loved OBS, I can remember. So I saw some lost lambs from my class at the staircase, and the good samaritan that I am, I led the way to the hall. So erm, the purpose of the Hall business was because Mrs. Maude Scott(our first principle) just died -passed away- last saturday. And there we were all thinking that she was already. In heaven (or whatever) I meant. She's in Canada, by the way. Was. Whatever. So we all observed a minute of silence. (In which, as usual, there was someone who asked me, "Isn't it one minute already?" Never fails.) Then we sang the school song (which, coincidentally, was written by the deceased) and went to class. It was here that my phone vibrated on and on (cause I stupidly set it on repetition) and I kept turning it off and off. But I couldn't check it then.

So there I was in maths class, copying wrongly my loci stuff from my either side seating partners (several times), and where I finally read the message:

I'll be late for school cause there's a pervert on the bus. He molested me and
another girl and now we're calling the cops. Ok not molested, more like rubbed
his balls on my arm. Gross!

It was Ol' Labs, the unfortunate girl. So anyway, it's not my place to say anything more so find out at her blog. If she does blog about it, that is. It's quite hilarious, the whole story. Especially as it involves a cute police officer and a totally funny bus driver's loud conversation with this other guy. I didn't know Singaporeans could be that helpful. Labs might even have to go to court to testify against him. It's all quite dramatic.

And so I guess that's basically it. Another weird day spent. Another 23 found. (Oh whatever, Lorelai)

- The (Chaste) Mother

The Bus Rides (plus misc)

Part (i)
There is a sleeping old woman next to me now; she is probably around 50 years old or so.. and she is very probably going to plonk her head (a mere 3 dangerous inches away now) onto my shoulder anytime soon. There is also this really irritating little Malay girl/boy (you never could tell with children) behind me talking/shrieking and kicking/punching the back of my seat. OMG. If the ungodly thing wails a THIRD time i'm seriously going to have to hit him/her over his/her head with one of the old lady's Fairprice plastic bags. I guess in another time, another place -if I really thought about it- it was kind of cool. I could be sort of flattered that she trusted me enough to fall asleep beside me. But now I'm kinda distracted with the horrid thought of what I could possibly do should it really happen. Would I wiggle my shoulder? Or be taken helpfully as a temporary pillow thing? WHOA. She just woke up. Now I don't know if I should feel anything... a sense of loss, maybe.
Someone once told me that it was sort of built in in everyone to wake up jut before their stop. I wonder why- ‘cause we are indeed reaching the interchange. Gotta go! Till next time, more interesting encounters with Lorelai..

Part (ii)
I am absolutely, positively ready to become a full-fledged geisha now. I have (a) behaved modestly, (b) stopped a man with a single glance, and (c) walked with real tiny itty bite-sized steps.
(a) This ex-tkgs gal I sat next to asked if I was from tkgs. I nodded my head demurely (okay, maybe a tad violently - what can I say, I'm always glad to be recognised on the stree-bus ahem.) Then she asked if I went to the TP opening. I nodded shyly again. Of course I didn't go. But "Geisha are geisha because they duun havva choice". We are agreeable people. Then I took out my book to read.
(b) This real cute guy in the bus wouldn't stop staring at me. He was practically on another man's lap but I had to be the one who steals his sweet steady glance. He just looked and looked and I looked back. I totally mesmerised him. The fact that he was about 5 didn't make a difference.
(c) I finally walked very gracefully/ mannerly/ coquettishly towards the bus exit with impossibly small steps. It's a miracle I didn't just topple over, but then again, geisha are moving works of art.
I just haven't gotten the bad English pronunciation thing down pat. But maybe I could have English subtitles following me all around, covering half the darn scree-my body- ahem- the whole time. Or occasionally drifting to Japanese for a while. Or speak Japanese/English with an American accent.


The Mother (with a mission)

Ahem

Before anyone says anything, I would like to disclaim that it was a Dare-to-infinity. How could I do otherwise?

(the MEEK mother)

Christ! We're havin a crisis, people.

Oh good lord. I think I suffer from alter-ego-citis; if my sister is egoistica, then I'm alteregois.
Nevermind.
I HAVE indeed realised a few years back that I was quite different in words and talk (and, for that matter, thoughts, too- but that's a whole other issue altogether.) esp evident when chatting online. Hmmm.. how do I say this: I get bolder and wilder - nothing can compare to the feeling of one's fingers flying off the keyboard making witty banter (ie crapping) with a buddy, etc.
Anyway the reason this has come to my attention is that my sis The Ick told me that I sounded diff in my blog than in real life. But labs commented that she disagreed- only because I sms her so much. You see?
But I like my kinda panache when I write. Which is extremely paradoxical because I'm rather like a shy bumblebee in person. Or is it deer? Bambi?
Oh whatever.

- The Doe

Presenting... Shoulder of Man!

Bon appetit!

YAY. Finally the termagant speaks.
I swear- she is such a dippy girl.
A diffident girl in disguise- she is in fact quite a baneful derriere!
Such malarkey is rare in the palsy-walsy world we are living in now.
Now, will you please excuse my panache- I have to record today's v. interesting events.

Today, I bit a stranger's shoulder.
(NO- I had cereal in the morning; I *wasn't* feeling hungry or anything(!).)
And.. it wasn't a tinny nip or anything- more of a fully opened-mouth thing (people who see how I laugh will understand.)

(Oooh! A couple of ang mos are gallivantly at the playground now! They look so cute (like rare animals from the zoo cute) playing with... an NTUC trolley. They are... pushing it repeatedly into the playground's appliances. And my Mom fancies them (they're 16, tops). What is the world coming to.)

Where was I? Oh yes, my "Second Breakfast". So anyway, in the assembly ground, RORIE was attacking me repeatedly by stabbing my sides with her fingers in her usual fashion when I turned, bent over, to the opposite direction and.. erm, that is where I met her left shoulder.

It was blue. The shoulder I mean. Her jacket I mean (poor dim-witted friends). Which was fortunate (for her). Better than the thin uniform sleeve as the only in-between. Man, that would hurt. (What with my braces and all.)

So yeah- that's the story. I don't know why the B Club laughed so hard about it (And went on to pretend-bite my shoulder the whole day). I mean, the ONLY funny thinig about it was her expression. God, it was priceless. Totally horrified (with her mouth dropped open and all-almost comparable to my laughing/biting one!)

An experience un-FORGETTABLE

An Ode to Ol' Labs (in 5 minutes)

Labs demanded a poem
From me, the innocent
Though it is clear it's already a half-day
I decided to wing it anyway

So I decided to rhyme
Or it'll only cost a dime
After all, we all wine and dine
But whatever, I'm wasting my time

Lazy Lorelai Lasts-
Only one Line

Having no more ideas to make more sense
I cleaned my spectacle lenses
To make it sparkly and shiny-
Who knows, I might even end up on my fanny(!)

Ending off this total garbage
Is my testimonial to Ol' Labs...

(Maybe I should just leave it at that. Maybe I have already meant to say what I wanted.)

Ol' Labs to me
I say with my big gab
(And I don't mean to brag):

Is... like a cabbage.

The (Self-confessed) Obfuscating Mother

what is wrong with this picture

OH MY GOD. THE BIRDS ARE CHIRPING/MAKING WHATEVER SOUND THAT THEY MAKE.
AT 3AM IN THE MORNING.

and i'm not yet asleep.

A Late Night Reflection on Moribus Modestus

From the TKGS Reflections Log (yes, I'm using it), weekly reflections' limited space:

Being sec 4s is a truly weird (but right) sensation. Suddenly, we were the biggest, loudest, meanest, and let's not forget, sexiest (in more ways than one), students (maybe even people) in da school. (Ruling at the topmost level- though I hate climbing 4 stories everyday.) Even though I found it highly lame for Mdm Hospital to say that the 小豆豆s (little beans) from the class next door (1/8?) look up to us 大姐姐s (big sisters) as examples of the school, I have to admit, it's true. (After all, she was the one teaching for 10++ years.)

When I was in sec 1, I was indeed v. astonished to find TKGians sooo so loud and confident during their cheers. I was thrilled! I totally wanted to be like that. Especially when we met the head and vice-head prefects. I particularly admired Jane for her confidence, etc. She seemed to fit the TKGS Spirit's* bill perfectly. The prefects (I could tell from the orientation) were all funny and good-natured (most of 'em) and I wanted to be one of them. Alas, after months of probation, it wasn't meant to be. I even *hated* them at one point- I think I can recall Jane talking about prefects being 'ostracised'- but I knew it (decision of not accepting me) was with good reason. (Their bad for not wanting me =P. Ya'll know i'm awesome)

Being caught up in the TKGS life was like being on a never-ending rollercoaster ride- full of ups and downs. The best parts were meeting my best friends, 'bonding' with the class (whether collecting $$ as treasurer, having a class party, having hardship/fun in OBS, or finally, leading a class) and of course, the teachers. I find it hard to believe that the teachers are willing to open their hearts to new pupils over and over again -memorising their names- and then bidding them gdbye @ the end of sec 4. I am so gonna hug Mrs Indicator, Ms Horny, Mdm Eyebrows, Mrs Knickers, Mrs L, Mdm Hospital, Mrs Sing idol, Mr Guppy(?)/Twitch(?), everybody(!) at the Farewell. Even Mr Turn-off-the-fans (FM in sec 2 and Mr Girl-shhh!-girl (how can we ever forget)!

Thinking about it (the sec 4 farewell) now makes the sentimental-git-in-me wanna well up. I wonder if I'd be filled with regrets (O*ahem!*levels) by that time, or perfectly content to just cry my heart out. (Prettily in my prom dress, of course.) =D

-Lizzie, 1/7, 2/7, 3/7, 4/7

Que Sara, Sara...


*A determined, confident and accomplished young woman, striving (to excel, surging) valiantly forward, building on the past to meet the challenges of the future.

(bracketed part is the words I've missed) I swear I'd have it memorised by the end of the year! =P

heya!!!!!!!
wheeee...nice blog ms fag basher n ms pantyhero basher.. haha. juz lyk e idea of hackin.. oh wait. it aint hackin is it? cos u guys told me the password.. haiz. tsk2..anyways.. dun 4get bout our movie on sat k. next sat. memoirs of a geisha! n azzah n jacq.....i hope u guys will be free next sat!!! heh... hope it'll be a fun bashers outin.. n wad basher is jacq btw?

-ball n boob basher-

Nutter!

funnyman

-The (funny) Mother

Nipper : young surf lifesaver

See here: I recently tightened my braces (last fri, but it's probably back to square One after all those unintentional broken wires*). It's green now- mom says it makes it look like I have vegetable stuck between my teeth. Permanently. But i swear, it's definitely at least 5 shades lighter than say, broccoli. Labs however, says it compliments the Uniform. Go figure.
Anyway, the orthodentist didn't cut the end of my upper right side's wire off properly, so it kinda sticks right out, scraping the insides of my cheek (think of all the precious 'Animal cells' wasted- I can't believe that's what we're called in Biology: animals). Quite painful if you thought about it. LS suggested sticking a cotton wad into my mouth- it worked, for maybe a full five minutes- by then it was as soggy as, well, two soggy things ;-)
So of course, the logical thing to do was to cut it. But as it was the weekend, the dental centre was closed- and anyway it was a hundred kilos away from my house. Therefore, my mother decided to take things into her own hands- literally.

First attempt
A pair of small scissors. I'm not sure what it's used for usually, exactly. But its location in the drawer where we keep the nail clippers proves suspicious. I try not to think about it too much.
Result: Failed
Second attempt
A pair of larger scissors. I could practically felt my mom's hand shaking with the effort to cut it. What the hell was this wire made of anyway, titanium?
Result: Failed
Third attempt
And fortunately, the final one. A pair of proper wire cutters(or cutter?).
Result: Sweet Success!

She v. nearly tried the godforsaken nail clippers, before I declined it with a firm hand. I think she got her genes from my grandma- a while back, she used a pair of workmens' tweezers to extract a tooth from my little primary one cousin. The boy wasn't scared in the least bit, the brave thing. I probably would've been scarred. For life.
Anyway, that's the crazy story. Coming up next, lyrics from our favourite show, The Nanny!


The Nanny Named Fran
Composed and Performed by Ann Hampton Callaway:
She was working in a bridal shop in Flushing, Queens,
'Til her boyfriend kicked her out in one of those crushing scenes.
What was she to do? Where was she to go? She was out on her fanny...
So over the bridge from Flushing to the Sheffield's door.
She was there to sell make-up, but father saw more.
She had style! She had flair! She was there.
That's how she became the Nanny!
Who would have guessed that the girl we've described,
Was just exactly what the doctor prescribed?
Now the father finds her beguiling (watch out C.C.!).
And the kids are actually smiling (such joie de vivre!)
She's the lady in red when everybody else is wearing tan...
The flashy girl from Flushing, the Nanny named Fran!

-The (fortunately, sane) Mother

*So I love popcorn. Sue me.

On Blogging. In general.

I think people who read other people's blogs- esp strangers- are, generally, rather strange people.
Why would anyone ever want to read about other people's everyday, sometimes private stuff? I mean, isn't that a little... you know, privy?
It's like... eureka!... It's like vandalism on toilet walls. Anyone can write, and anyone can read - It's just whether you can be bothered to or not, or, you're just so plain bored sitting on your chair/toilet seat.
And we'll all still remain anonymous.
On a totally unrelated note, I think Xiaxue's "copyrighted" term 'blogder' for blog-reader is v. unhip. I sure wouldn't want to be called that, perhaps as much as I don't want to be called a toilet wall reader. Or toilder. Whatever.

- The Mother

FIFTY BUCKS

CAVORT? Rite..... It's ALL making sense to me NOW.. I cannot BELIEVE that Lorelai made me blog when this is O LEVEL year!!! i'm so gonna suck for the CA on Wednesday. Then i'm blaming it on HER. BUHAHAHA. Watever.

It's Sunday. But a Black Day. For those of you who hate MJ that came from Smooth Criminal. I LOVE HIS NUMBER ONE HITS. So now i keep dl his songs whenever i can. I have a feeling that i'm being lame but NEVERMIND. I can't help it. Why must it RAIN EVERY SINGLE DAY?!?!? And everyone is SO SICK. INCLUDING me. And i'm waiting 4 Lorelai to arrive HERE. I HOPE IF SHE'S LATE she won't make up an excuse like, I'M WASHING MY HAIR(no offense, Jacqie :D). I even bet my bro fifty bucks to see if she really is going to show up at all today. OH THE BLOODY RAIN. OH MY FIFTY BUCKS. We were just playing around, OF COURSE. -_-"

I feel so lethargic today. I know I should be studying BUT the weather's so cold i feel like curling up into a ball and fall into a deep slumber. And here i go again. BLAMING IT ON THE RAIN. Oh, did you know that that is a title of A song?? I was shocked myself. By Milli Vanilli. The song was dubbed top 40 or DUNNO WAT most AWESOMELY BAD LOVE SONGS EVER. THE COUNTDOWN WAS REALLY FUNNY. No. 1 was... HELLO, i think. By Lionel Richie. I didn't know i could get SO MUCH useless trivia from one sitting of MTV. I think this post is long enough. FOR NOW. Catch'a later. AND FIFTY BUCKS.

For Jacqie: U know Gilmore Girls? Lorelai, the mum. Rory, the daughter. That's where we got the idea from. But lizzie changed RORY to-RORIE coz she always calls me WALIE. So that answers your question.

- The (Irresponsible) Daughter

OneMoreThing

My new jingle for RORIE: "Maybe if you blog, the rain will stop.. Then I can go to your house and erm.. cavort!"

Okay, so I've only got two line so far. It's a start.

Only in Singapore

Mmmm. It's such a gloomy rainy Sunday morning, my kinda day. I love the sounds of the birds in the morning- they don't go: "Chirp, chirpity chirp, I'm a cheerful birdy, look at me go!" like in storybooks, but instead a sort of low warbling thing- I already forgot how it sounds like. It ONLY comes out really early in the morning, (but not the time we wake up for school- which is like 6 o'clock in the friggin morning- i hate that bit bout the education system) and is extremely rare to hear. Shit, look at me going on and on bout some bird. ANYWAY... the reason I think I so subconsious-unconsciously like it is because it reminds me of my ol' childhood days in Bukit Batok- when we'll go SO frickin early in the morning to the park to "exercise".

God, i loved those days.

It's turning into a storm now! (Or, to put it more accurately, a 'heavy shower'.)

I feel the stress! Shit. When I find out people are actually reading this. But whatever.

AH NOOo! The rain's coming in!! S'later.

-The (responsible) Mother

ROTFL

HELLO lovable PEOPLE. FYI, i do NOT need ricky ullman's photos PASTERED all over the site. And my dad DID bring back home McDonald's WAAAAT. TSK. Tis NOT alien-y. Lorelai's obliviousness is UNNERVING. EHEHEH. MOVING ON, i can ACTUALLY play the chorus part of JOURNEY TO ZANARKAND!!! MAHAHAHAH!!! I literally took HOURS to master the first two pages of the ********* score(fill in WATEVER u like... :D)and i slept LATE AGAIN and overslept for not ONE, not 2, but 3 DAYS in a ROW for school....BLEH. Wasted so much money on TAXI FARE. AN OUTSTANDING SEVEN BUCKS FOR ONE TRIP. The world has gone mad. hai.

WHY HAS EVERYONE IN THE ENTIRE WORLD GONE TO WATCH NARNIA EXCEPT ME?!?!?!? UNBELIEVABLE. LABS WATCH OREDI. HUMPH. oh well. I saved ten bucks anyway.

I AM SO MISERABLE. I have turned into a nerd. I actually STUDIED with Bindi in the library. THE HORROR. NOLARH. We were finishing heymaths. :D I keep sneezing. So that is ALL FOR TODAY.

WORTHLESS TRIVIA: Oh. Did u noe that s'pore is not a developed country? We are an ADVANCED developING country. Human geog IS interesting. WHO KNEW.

-The Daughter

Lazy Ovaries

Okay, since she won't write an entry till this blog is in a better way- i.e. pictures of Ricky Ullman pastered EVERYWHERE- I'll just take some time to write here. I'm bored, anyway. Trying to come up with a list of songs to burn into a CD... But, understandably, that kinda thing takes eons (largest interval units into which Geologic Time is divided). Sorry, I'm lame like that. :P

Currently, I'm reading "...then he ate my boy entrancers." which is more mad, marvy confessions of Georgia Nicolson. I ADORE THAT GIRl. She is absolutely bonkers (plus a bit mad on the side) but she is just toooo hilarious not to love. Boy entrancers, by the way, are what Georgia calls her fake eyelashes. Seriously. She reminds me a little of Ol' Labs.

Rorie, of course, may just match up to her in levels of bonkerosity. Just a few minutes after eleven, she messages me to say she was absolutely CRAVING for a chocolate sundae (from McDonald's, no less). My reply: "Oh dear God. Rorie, your spaceship has arrived. Please get in." Not entirely original, but it'll do.

That reminds me. I've got an English essay 'test' coming up. The topic's My Portrait as a Reader. Now's as good a time as any to start a draft!

My Portrait as a Reader

Well, for one thing (one vair vair important thing), I love reading. Does that sum it all?
Fine! Ok, the portrait's real colourful, etc etc, because I don't really have a specific genre of books I read solely. I read anything and everything... Even the backs of shampoo bottles.

I love funny books (you can't go wrong with humour). Not so much books with LOTS of description but minimal dialogue (eg Lord of the Rings Trilogy). Heartwarming, enlightening, heartwrenching stories that can make you cry are great too. In fact, any book that can make me cry is way up there on my list. Following close behind are books that force me to bring them into the shower with me to read.

But it really helps if the front cover of the book is attractive. That's why authors/publishers should always republish their books- especially since no one wants a smelly yellowed old book even if it is, indeed, a good story. Which is sad, but also unfortunately, reality. I love picking up books from the Marine Parade Library (a stone's throw away from my block) and seeing '2005' or the current year beside the Copyright. Don't ask why.

It's also become a habit of mine to check the blurbs for reviews from e.g. The New York Times, The Sunday Times, Daily Telegraph, or favourite authors. Also, I look out for books which have won awards, such as the ALA Top Ten Picks for Young Adults, etc. Not so much winners of the (eg) NewBerry Award (with a large shiny coin shaped thingy pasted on the cover of the book. Another quirk? 'Bestselling' works are also almost always guaranteed a nod from me.

Another important thing to consider: A good title never hurt. I usually go for those that are original, quirky or maybe even downright outrageous. An example of a title I like: Sleeping freshmen never lie. Not only is it a pun (sleep; lie, get it?), but it relates loosely to the idiom "Dead men tell no tales". The story's about a guy just about to embark on high school life (and is terribly dreading it), thus the origin: Sleeping freshmen= Dead men, Lie=Tell Tales.

Book series are also enjoyable. It's the thrill of discovering the latest of the series out in the library, perhaps. Two particular ones which have gotten me hooked on are Gossip Girl (about life among the rich, but still v. human, teenagers in the Big Apple- extract of a review: '..sex and the city for the younger set') and Confessions of Georgia Nicolsen (you can tell from the title of the first book of the series "Angus, Thongs and Full-Frontal Snogging" that it will be a rather nonsensical- and ballistic- but still 'seriously funny- be careful about reading it in public' series). Both of them are bestsellers. The latter, internationally.

But in the end, the most important thing, I guess, is the willingness of the person to pick up a book and his or her determination to finish it. After all, even if there are awesome reviews and everything, there still wouldn't be books if there weren't readers around. =D

Welcome to our humble abode...

Neither of us intended to create this blog because either of us wanted to blog. In fact, the thought has never crossed our minds. But TOGETHER (caps because RORIE is included), we will actualize, author, beget, build, coin, compose, conceive, concoct, constitute, construct, contrive, design, devise, discover, dream up, effect, erect, establish, fabricate, fashion, father, forge, form, formulate, found, generate, hatch, imagine, initiate, institute, invent, invest, make, occasion, organize, originate, parent, perform, plan, procreate, produce, rear, set up, shape, sire, spawn... AND start a blog oh so alarming, astonishing, awe-inspiring, awful, beautiful, breathtaking, daunting, dreadful, exalted, far out, fearful, fearsome, formidable, frantic, frightening, grand, hairy, horrible, horrifying, imposing, impressive, intimidating, magnificent, majestic, mind-blowing, moving, nervous, overwhelming, shocking, striking, stunning, stupefying, terrible, terrifying, wonderful, wondrous, zero cool that it will shock you to death.

This is gonna be such a bang-up, capital, champion, excellent, fine, first-rate, top year!



p.s. THERE'S your vocabulary lesson #1 à la blog style, RORIE :)

-The Mother